I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!
May 11, 2019
Mother’s Day is upon us, and it’s my first time celebrating as a new mom! I started writing a blog post about the perfect Mother’s Day gift (hint: it’s actually just validation for everything moms do), but I thought it’d be more fun to list some mom truths I’ve realized since joining the mom club. The mom club has been the coolest club I have ever joined, and if you’re not a member, I suggest you skip reading this list because it may deter you from ever becoming one! For those of us in the trenches, I hope you can enjoy these little nuances that make motherhood the most challenging, exhausting, and rewarding hood you’ll ever encounter.
Signs you are a mother:
You can’t remember your last shower. The dry shampoo in your hair is building up to monumental levels, and you’ve washed your armpits with a baby wipe.
Your house resembles an episode of Hoarders, and you can’t find anything you actually need.
You’ve washed the same load of laundry three times because you keep forgetting to put it in the dryer.
You could play a zombie on The Walking Dead and can’t remember the last time you had a full night of sleep.
Your clothes are covered in spit up, vomit, food, boogers, anything gross you can imagine..and you don’t care.
You’ve mastered accomplishing tasks with one hand.
When you are out by yourself, you feel liberated...but also like you’re missing a limb.
You no longer buy nice things for yourself, but have no problem splurging on Amazon for must-have baby/kid items.
You don’t have time to cook or eat so you pretend like chicken nuggets from McDonald’s are giving you protein.
You can decipher what different cries mean, and you’re also immune to other kids crying in public now.
You have secretly plotted your husband’s death while he snores next to you while nursing your baby in the middle of the night. Oh, just me??
When you can sleep, you wake up in the middle of the night worrying about something.
You can’t go to the bathroom by yourself anymore.
Chocolate has become your best friend and enemy.
You leave your keys and wallet in the car..and one of the doors open.
You cry at everything, including sappy commercials.
You’ve googled things like “normal baby poop” and “can humans survive without sleep?”
You thank God daily for coffee.
You forgot what life was like before becoming a mother.
Your heart can no longer fit in your body, and you know you are the luckiest person in the world.