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Etiquette Around Mama-To-Be
August 30, 2018
It’s hard to know what doesn’t offend people these days. And I’m certainly not an expert on etiquette. Let’s just say that Emily Post would frown on my actions daily. But since becoming pregnant, I’ve picked up on a few things that should be on everyone’s “don’ts” list when it comes to etiquette around pregnant mamas. Let me just say for the record, I am guilty of doing every single one of these “don’ts”. And some of these things don’t really matter a whole lot to some pregnant women. I mainly wrote this so I can remind myself what not to do in the future because hello, pregnancy brain is real, and I will forget all of this by tomorrow. But whether you’re a close friend of a mama-to-be or a complete stranger, most of these rules apply:
Don’t touch the belly without asking. Would you touch a non-pregnant person’s stomach? Probably not. You’d be surprised how many random people feel it’s appropriate to touch a stranger’s belly! Just don’t do it. Even if you know the person and/or are related, make sure you ask them first! There is nothing worse than unwanted belly rubbing.
Don’t ask someone when they’re due unless you know FOR SURE they are expecting! This is pretty self-explanatory. Just no.
Don’t ask which name they are choosing if you are going to have an actual opinion about it. If someone willingly shares their unborn baby’s name with you, pretend like it’s the greatest name you’ve ever heard even if it’s the worst. Trust me, the pregnant mama is hormonal enough without the negative feedback from you about name picking abilities.
Don’t comment about how big or small someone’s pregnant belly is. Women carry their weight in different ways, and it’s perfectly natural for them to be self-conscious about it. If you feel the need to comment on a bump, it’s better to offer words such as “your belly is so cute” rather than commenting on how massively huge or extremely tiny it is.
Don’t ask about her plans on breastfeeding/formula and then give unsolicited advice on why breastfeeding is absolutely the only way to feed a baby. Every woman is entitled to make her own choice when it comes to breastfeeding, and some women are actually physically incapable of breastfeeding despite all efforts. So why the guilt trip? But do feel free to recommend nipple creams! (I’m so not looking forward to the nipple abuse)
Don’t ask if the baby was planned. Some couples have been fighting infertility battles for years, and some were doing everything under the sun to avoid getting pregnant. Plus, it’s just kinda weird to be asking about a couple’s deed doing.